Week 7: Model Self-Confidence for Your Kids

Question to be answered:

How do I move my children from being self-focused to being God focused?

Introduction:

What does a healthy self-esteem look like?... Jesus- and his example of living as a child of God. Ironically, greater self- confidence happens when a person moves away from focus on self and towards focus on God.

Matthew 16:25 “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” As parents we should model this Christ-like way of losing ourselves with our kids by doing as scripture commands: move focus from self to God such as worship, prayer, service and community

When you hear self-esteem what comes to mind?

Do you feel our society is overemphasizing building self-esteem in our children?

Can self-denial and self-esteem co-exist? Why or why not?

Point 1: Model awe of God and his grace.

Colossians 1:15-23

Look at all of the qualities and attributes of Jesus that are noted here.

Verses 16-17 says “all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together” What does this mean?

What can you do to model proper worship of God to your children? How might your worship center upon the attributes mentioned in the scripture?

What does the worship of the God describe here say about forming your own self- image? that of your children?

Point 2: Model faith in God and his grace.

“Entitlement” of our children

Luke 11:1-13

How should be approach God?

What does this say about God and his goodness?

How can daily dependence on God, through prayer, properly align one’s self-image?

Depending on God for everything from bread to forgiveness takes self- reliance off of us and makes way for God’s daily, satisfying goodness of His providing for everything.

Point 3: Model self-sacrifice to honor God and his grace.

Our society promotes consumerism as helping us feel good. Our children that get this message may try to constantly “get” things yet will continue to remain unhappy. How will this effect their future?

Healthy self-esteem involves understanding how deeply and unconditionally we are loved and valued by God. Therefore as we understand God’s love, we will see that possessions are not an end in themselves, but the means to glorify God and bless others.

1 John 3:17

Philippians 2:3-11-

Verse 3- “in humility consider others better than yourselves” how can this co-exist with a healthy self- image?

Verse 4- what are some interests of others around you?

What are some of your interests or those of your children that steer towards selfishness?

Christ’s humility is evidence of his great power. Although he did not give up his divine qualities he chose to take on the roles of “human” and “servant”.

Verse 9-11

Teaching children that confidence and a belief that God can and does act and work through them can help with a healthy self-esteem. This shows the importance of living life as a mission of service towards others. (Operation Inasmuch!) J

Taking on God’s sacrificial “nature of a servant” helps us and our children be more like Jesus.

Point 4: Model community to demonstrate God’s grace

Acts 2:41-47

What was the effect of the gospel message upon this community of people? What specific activities were the believers dedicate to in the church?

Church was involved in 4 basic activities: learning, caring, fellowship and worship.

How does your church experience match with this Acts description of the early church?

Conclusion:

It is our responsibility to help our children be rescued from self-hate or doubt and brought to a place where they see themselves as unique, beloved creations of their heavenly father.

How can we do this?

Week 6: Friendships that Benefit Parenting

Question to be answered:

How do friendships help us to be better parents?

Introduction:

Being a parent can be overwhelming and often we feel inadequate. Building a community of friends can alleviate our doubts and give us the wisdom and skill, comfort, reassurance and encouragement we need!

God created us with a deep need for friendship and desire to have kindred spirits with whom we share struggles and joys.

God encourages fellowship for all believers. Relationships that are rooted in Christ have a depth that allows us to impart wisdom, discernment, encouragement and understanding to each other.  By making time for the depth of friendship God intended can add wisdom to our parenting, help us find emotional support and understanding as well as foster relationships that keep us accountable and spiritually challenged. This is introduced in scripture.

Point 1: Covenant Friendships Keep Us Transparent and Vulnerable

1 Samuel 18: 1-3; 20: 1-42 and 2 Samuel 1: 25-26.

These passages describe the friendship between Jonathan and David. This friendship included a promise before God of faithfulness, protection, help and love for each other and each other’s family. David and Jonathan loved the other as he loved himself and they trusted each other with their lives.

A friendship such as this entails accountability, openness, sharing and trust. They were willing to not only protect and serve each other but to risk all they had for the other. This is an example of what friendship can look like when we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and love our neighbor as ourselves.

Why did Jonathan and David make this covenant friendship? How can this type of friendship be beneficial in parenting?

How did David allow Jonathan to hold him accountable?

How did their friendship make them accountable to God?

How does accountability to God and others help us to be better parents?

When we have this type of friendship we are open to accountability, advice and assistance. For parents this means that we can share our failures, frustrations, insecurities, and feeling of inadequacy. We are open to advice, helpful tips and shared experiences. Together we can hope and dream for our children and their futures. We raise each other’s children increasing the bonds of community in the family of believers and it strengthens the faith of parents and children alike!

Point 2: Covenant Friendships Extend to Our Children

1 Samuel 20:13-17 and 2 Samuel 9:1-13

David’s friendship with Jonathan extended to Jonathan’s son and grandson. David promised to show kindness to Jonathan’s family even though they were descendants of Saul, who was David’s enemy. Out of love and loyalty to Jonathan and obedience to God by keeping his promise, David searched for Jonathan’s family with the purpose of showing them kindness. David restored Mephibosheth’s inheritance to him and treated him as his own son.

Why did David and Jonathan include their families in their vow of love and loyalty to each other? How would a promise to care for each other’s families deepen a friendship bond and keep a friendship from becoming inwardly focused, exclusive or in competition with family time and commitment?

What are some practical ways you can help care for a friend’s family?

What do we miss when we are too busy for this depth of friendship in our lives? What do our children miss?

Point 3: Intergenerational friendships

God gives older people the honor, joy and privilege of helping younger people both practically and spiritually.

Titus 2:3-5

According to Titus what qualifications should you look for in a mentor? Do you believe a mentoring relationship could benefit you? How? Would it benefit the mentor? How?

Younger people should initiate mentoring relationships with older people. This demonstrates they are open to mentoring relationships.

Point 4: Friendships are strengthened when we serve together

Philippians 2:19-27

Paul, Timothy and Epaphroditus were partners in the work of the gospel. Out of their ministry strong friendships formed. They were kindred spirits. It important as parents and friends to be involved in ministry together adding to our spiritual growth as well as modeling for our children what is involved in ministering to others. (Operation Inasmuch!)

Through ministering together we form the types of friendships that allow us to share ideas, frustrations, disappointments, failures, joys and encouragements. By God’s grace and power we can develop a genuine interest in each other’s lives and the lives of those in whom we minister. These bonds are everlasting.